With the triathlon just a day away, something had to be done or the creatures of the deep would mistake my face for an injured porcupine and attack. I would emerge from the swim portion with an intimidating but slow squid and lobsters wreath face. My tools:
I chose the Mach 1 (thanks Josh) and the shave cream (thanks SW). The shave was about the same speed as with a normal razor, due to the combination of having to use more care and the razor cleaning huge areas of the face per stroke. A great way to reupholster your face with a baby's bottom.
Nobody likes to help when they are in a hurry (fact) but I had all day to scope out the triathlon course for tomorrow, and had so much time that there was no choice but to help everyone in need. The first lucky winner was a tan wife whose car had broken down in the middle of I-75 construction. I looped around and had her put her car in neutral, then pushed it to safety with my bare hands. She wouldn't let me give her a ride, because her husband had been notified and was on his way.
Then it was a guy in an MG on Square Lake, who had run out of gas. I tried to help him too, but his wife was on the way. Then a guy on a Goldwing on Telegraph, whose bike wouldn't start, but who didn't want any help. On the way home, it was a guy in a Dodge who didn't actually need any help at all.
When I was in Pontiac on the way home (from signing up for the triathlon), I saw a pretty (from behind) girl walking under a bridge. She was the only person on foot for miles, so I hollered if she wanted a ride. She gave a real "who, me?" expression, and then was like "you're gonna give me a ride!?!?!" She was so excited (although on a cell phone), and after I told her I was going to Rochester said "that's like halfway home! I'm going to Oxford"
She was on her way home from WHAM! which is a fun sounding alternative to jail (she got picked up for driving on a suspended license - license plate "SMASHED"). Actually, she was on the way home from visiting her boyfriend who was actually in jail. I took her all the way to Oxford, and then we fed the chickens and goats at her house (I actually caught a chicken!).
Here is a creepy telephoto shot I took of her by the goats and chickens right before I left. Told you. On the way home from her Nicole's house, I took a Drainer Rd. (dirt) for about 10 miles. It was the twistiest, most awesome road I have ever been on in Michigan. I plan on crashing my car there in the near future.
Then it was food time (3 eggs cooked in spaghetti, with garlic, cheese, oil and pepper) , and much too much last-minute mods to my dad's bike (tightened pedal tension, lowered handlebars, changed the front tire and grips). I have confidence that every decision was correct.
Fun day, no? Well, what I learned is that cell phones are great for keeping communication lines open, at the expense of potential new connections. Which can be great if you need help, not so great if you want to help. Though I should have known that: "Do you have a 'phone, case something happens?" - Everyone to everyone
Edit: What I realized was that when you see people walking in public, its easy to think they are enjoying the day, or on a jaunt to the store--do not be fooled! they are alcoholics and criminals without licenses who would give anything to be in a car like the rest of the world.
1 comment:
looks like a smooth shave!
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